Daddydorf 2: Coming Home To You
by Th3Baron
Summary: After a long day out and about there's nothing quite like returning home, setting your weary behind on a comfortable service and decompress. Or something like that.


Foreward: You desired it. I, Baron Dickrich von Fotzstein-Schwanzhausen, sired it.

I proudly present the next entry in the Daddydorf Saga; Daddydorf 2: Coming Home to You.

Please fasten your seedbelts and hold on to your butts. We straight Dorfin now.

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Contains: -Best dad

-Zelmama

-Birdgirl

-Intrigue

-Hanky panky

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Coming Home to You; a Daddydorf Story.

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"Daddydorf is that you?"

Daddydorf slowly came closed the door behind him and moved across the room.

"Gan-gan?"

"... Yeah." He replied. "It's daddy."

"I was wondering when you'd be back."

"Ugh. You know, a bunch of stuff came up. Somehing always cums up..."

"You sound tired."

"I am tired." Dorfels said and sighed. He walked around the couch, and promptly dropped himself onto the soft pillow as if it was calling his buttox for some emergency snuggles.

This is where he unloads all the things that came up. Like the fishing he did with boat and young Link. But also not the part about the fishing that wasn't exactly fishing. No, not that part. That part was gross and he did not enjoy it at all, unless he was in denial about his favourite flavour actually being fishy ball brine. Who knows? Daddydofr is a complicated hunk of a man.

Then there was the part where Boat tried to give Little Link the magical Wangwanker but Daddy interfered. It went a little like this;

"Hey Link, would you like a present from uncle Boat?" Boat asked the youngin' as they could see before them teh familiar soil of their homeland before them see.

Link was naturally curious and perked up at the idea of receiving a percent from a friendly baot. But naturally the Dorf suspised this might be a moment where he needed to parent his pants off. (1)

"What kind of present are we talking about here?" Asked Daddy.

"Why Link's very own Wangwanker, of course! How could a young boy ever survive without one!?" Boat exclaimed exclaimily.

If there was one thing Daddydorf knew, it was that this was not the time for one of his stupidf riends to give his son a fleshlight as a parting gift. Magical or otherwise. The right time for that would be when Daddydorf found himself draged all the way to the flaming buttom of the burning hells, and even then he'd be sure to shove it up the Devil's ass before Link ever stuck his dingeling in it.

"No, no, no. Boat, no. No no." He immediately responded.

Boat and Link were surprised by this sudden outburtst.

"Uh... Ha... Ha-ha! Bot is joking. Ha... Haha."

"I am hilarious, yes." Boat agreed.

"Yes, very." Daddy decided even if he did not particularly agree, "There is no such thing as a Wangwanker. Or a Wizwasser or a wingwanger. He's making the jokes. Boat is funny. Ha. Ha. Ha." Dorfels attempted to convince Link.

Link looked at boat.

"I am funny." Boat once more agreed.

"Alright, great. Now take us home." Daddy said.

"Still, I'd like to give you-" Boat tried to continue but was nog given a chance to complete his words.

"Ha. Ha. Please, no more jokes." Daddydorf said as he exchanged angry looks with Boat. "Stop it."

"Next time, then." Boat decided, though Dorfels gave him the stank eye. "Maybe." He added in response.

"Ha. Ha. Ha."

"Ha? Ha?"

Little Link thought this was normal humour for some reason and also started laughing; "Hyut hyut hyaaa!"

As Link carried the box of lures back to the Dorfmobile Daddy hung back with Boat for a moment.

"So why can't the kid have a Wangwanker?"

"Don't you think he's a little young for that kind of a thing? Daddy replied.

"When I was his age, I had already warn out two and I turned out fiiiiiiiiiiine."

"No. You turned into a boat." Daddy said and followed Link with the rest of the fishing gear.

"Wait. I thought that was the curse from- Or maybe the massive amounts of drugs. Are you saying it was the self gratification all along!?"

"Catch ya later, Boat!" Daddydorf said as he left Boat to his own ponderings.

"... I jerked myself into a boat...?"

Once all thier stuff was loaded into the car and Daddydorf and Link both sat into their seats there was a short silence.

"We've had the quite a day, huh, kiddo?" The Dorf said while staring at the ocean while the sun slowly drooped lower and lower towards the horizon.

Little Link nodded and yawned. All the excitement, activity and the fresh ocean breeze had worn him down. Daddy suspected he'd be dozing off just minutes into their riede back home.

"Yes, we've got some stories to tell..." Dorfels said whistfully. Though then it struck him that some parts of the story he really shouldn't tell anyone about. Thankfully Link was almost entirely incapable of telling stories, so he'd be able to shape the narrative to avoid any embasement.

Daddydorf turned the eggnition key and the Dorfmobile's engine growled energetically. He put his trusty green Ford LTD Country Squirt into gear and put his foot gently on the accelerator paddle. Time to go home.

Just as the sea could no longer be seen from the rearview mirror Link had already driffled into slumber and Daddy smiled at his innocent little exhausted face. Surely the two of them had managed to connect more deeply this day and young Link had done really well during the boat trip in geenral. No whining, no moping or crying for his Nentondi Swap to play Ultra Stefano Cousins Travels. No, they had a real life adventure irl and they enjoyed (most of) it to the fullest!

He was also reminded of his encounter with Queen Zora and her offspring; Princest Ruto. While it was good to see QZ again, it was alarming to meet young Ruto. This could mean trouble in the years ahead and he wasn't sure if it was better for him to be aware of her or not... Then again, he couldn't help but crack a satisfied smile, either.

"The old hog did it again, hehehe." he said and chuckled. Alewding to his potent seed, even if he might never know the truth. Still, a good story can always use some foreshadowing.

After driving for a little while Daddydorf got an uneasy felling slowly washing over his body. He had been so preoccupied with how his day had turned out, he forgot why he had chosen to pick today to go fishing with the boy. The Goron delegation was scheduled to come by to renew commitments and relations with the Royal Family and they might still be at the hoose.

Hyrule politics are the worst. Gorons love complaining about outsiders coming into their volcano and threaten to block all cave entrances with rocks unless some stupid demand is met. You can't get your Lon Lon milk to dip your rocks in if you do that, now can you (2)?

If Daddydorf had been home the chances were high he'd be expected to meet with them and it'd be a whole thing. Father-son bonding was a great excuse to not get involved at all, especially since Zelmama really didn't want to risk having Link barging in on her while negotiating either. At least he didn't have to worry about Zelmama, she was a tugh cookie, and Impa would be by her side.

As Daddy drove into his street it was clear by the vehicles next to the road that Goron delication was still embroideled in talks. He slowed down and kept his eyes peeled for any movement. Hopefully he could pull up and open up the garage door without being noticed. While it did not appear anyone was near the frong, he executed his plan and pulled into the garage. Little Link was still fast asheep, which was both a blessing and a curse. He'd be quiet at least, but he'd also have to carrying him upstairs to put him to bed silently and quickly. Just to be safe he'd carrying Link in through the back door leading into the kitchen, from there he's make a quick dash for the stairs and then as quietly as possible ascend the creeky wooden construct.

Magically it all went without a hitch and Daddydorf pulled the little one's bedroom door closed behind him.

"Phew." He audibly sighed of relief.

He pondered what his next move should be. Perhaps Tetra had some idea of how far along the Gorons were at this point? He approached her beddoom door and knocked on it softly as it was closed shut.

There was no answer.

Daddydorf knocked again and said; "Tetra, honey? Are you in there?"

He waited a moment, but when there was no reply he decided to make sure to see if she was not there or was perhaps listening to her music with headphones on or some such.

"Honey, I'm coming in now." He said as he knocked one final time.

As the room opened before him he saw no sign of his daoughter. It would appear she was not here. Was she still hanging out with her palls at the mall, perchaps? Had she gone over to a friend's?

Daddydorf made his way back down to the kitchen, swiftly and like the mouse, to check on the whiteboard. They had made it clear to the children that all activities of the house needed to be clearly communicated on there to make sure everyone was aware where people were. It clearly stated the meeting with the Gorons and that Daddy and Link were going fishing. Link even drew some stickfigures next to it that were in the process of reeling in some fish. Then below that there was the curly writing of Tetra.

"Hanging with the Crew. Be back after dinner. ~T~"

Some fatherly instinct within Dorfels required more clarity about the composition of said crew and where this hanging was taking place, but sadly Tetra was of the age where such answers were not for her parents to know exactly. Inevitably she'd press her on it when he'd next see her and he'd slam a door in her face and say something very depressing or desturbaning.

Regardless he found himself without knowing much about the status of the Gorons and Zelmama. Well, if it turned out to be unavoidable that he should still meet with these Gurons he should at least make sure he got out of these stained and sweaty clothes and wash the... 'saly smell of the sea' off his skin. Once more he manouvered himself up the stairs and then into the bathroom. He threw off his dirty clothes and was unsure if the should put these clothes in the hamper or if they needed to be burned. No, he liked that outfit, but he'd probably have to boil them alcohol or something before wearing them again.

And so sweaty and weary Daddydorf slipped out of his last article of clothes, turned on the shower and walked his shapely buns under the comforting spray. It was unexpected how much he seemed to need this moment of solitude and relaxation with the water caressing and cleaning him as he slowly breathed in and out. He even slowly let himself crouch down to just sit in the warmth for a couple of minutes.

What a day this had been.

But eventually he raised his tired body back up and began to shampoo his crimson strands and luffa's the hell out of his chiseled chocolate body from top to bottom. Once every inch of his bod was beyond squeky clan he stepped out dripping but refreshed. He wiped some steam off the mirror and found himself looking as good as he was feeling. Strong and energetic. Willing and able.

He wiped himself down and proceeded to pick out his clothes. Nothing too fancy, but also not too casual in case of Gorons. Not that they were known to care about appearances that much, they did not wear clothes in the first place, the degenerates. But he'd feel better all the same if he knew he could show he put some care into how he appeared.

There was really nothing else to it, he'd have to go swing by the conference room to get an idea of the progress Zelmama was making with the mountain folk. And so, he made his way down the stairs again and went towards the basement. He might find someone standing outside but the coast was entirely clear, though it was also obvious that inside activities were ongoing and seemingly getting relatively heated. Daddydorf worried this might turn into one of those all-nighter affairs and he really didn't like the thought of that. All the more reason not to step inside, that was for sure. Thankfully Zelmama had the foresight to tape these affairs for obvious reasons. The cameras were linked directly to a small setup installed in their master bedroom.

Back up another two flights of stairs, then.

Arriving in their bedroom Daddy sat himself on the chair in front of the main monitor. He hesitated a moment but then turned it on. Before him was the recording program, and he could tell it had been collecting video for the past 7 hors. From here he could freely check any feed and listen in. He decided to leave the haedpoones off for now, but brought up the first feed of the conference room.

It seemed teh first feed was blocked by Gorons standing in front of lens. The second angle just managed to show even more Gorons. There had been a great amount of vehicles in the street, clearly they had brough a large deligation. The next few cameras did not help either, even if it did seem like one or two of them caught a glimps of Impa in there among them. Flipping through the available feeds ever faster he finally flicked past a recording device that captured Zelmama practicing diplomacy with that trademarked Hylian grace. Getting double-teamed in the corner, with mascare running across her cheeks and a mixture of cum and rool dribbling down her chin.

Ugh. Politics...

Inside the 'conference room' most of the 'debate' had turned into some rapid wet slapping sounds and moaning with a the sound of a dozen or so Goron's jerking their rock jocks at a moderate pace, while enjoying the show. There was also the 'side discussion' where fluffer Impa used her political capital to keep weary Goron's in the game just that little bit longer.

The attendant's buxom meat melons were just right for the oversized Goron gavels gathered here today. Her hands had the grip of someone wielding the Titan's Mitt and the stamina to keep pumping for hours on end. Never mind her expert mouth, Impa does not simply suck, oh no no no, her abiloties to gobble up corck and succk put Like Likes to sham!

But all the same it was not her place to get a healthy helping of mountainman baby jueice. She had to content with whatever was left after it had already been diluted with Zelmama's vajoolz fluuds and pre-cum. And while a mistjeevus Goron might slapp or grab her jiggly rump, her crouthc was left crimanaly undesterbed. The one time a Groon's hand reached down and rubbed her funtime lipx it was merely to scoop up some of the coochslime she hd been excrring for the longest time.

He showed it to her. The thick pusssoup cover dhis massive hand like a liquick glove. Alll she could tihink was how she'd like to were a boulderous dikk like a gloff rite neow. And then the Goron made her clean lick teh hole hand of her sexxy moistuure. The non-fuxkinf tease! (3)

Impa had also attendd the princess' nedes from tim ti tome. Naturally over such long peerod of copulation some addirional car needed to be given. She was always reddy to surf when her majest needed someone to snowball a hefty Goron goopload the traditianal 7 times. But also for practickel matters, such as remanning hydrated. An abundanccc of sally dickshakes may be nutritional, but you jusr can't kep gong without some good old watser. Impa would have loved to let Zelmema slobber uup the strandxsk of lewddew oozering from her lovecreack, or giving her a refreshing spritzhng of a welldessertved squire, if only she wa awoled to plaeshirt herelf. But no, a bottle of simple H2O was all she was allowed to offer.

Impa also sponged off the Princess during the two intermissions they had. It was hot. Lots of kissing and soapy bubbles. (4)

Zelmama was also needing to put in much work and little play. Sure, a dong-a-thon wounds well on paper, and at least in the Princess' cas orgasms were encouraged and desired, but a great deal of prepration and protocols stil needed to be followed. Only one of her unending wisdom could even hope to retain the wherewithal to properly conduct oneself during such an involved cexremony.

Naturally she needed to prepare her Royal Vajoozl to be able to handle the right quantiy, volume and texture of the receiving meat tenderizers. Her bumbum too, naturally. She'd ask Daddydorf for assitence, his size and willingness would be more than sufficient. But a Goron's dongus his pants carry not. No, she'd have to shove a bunch of rocks up her holes, plug them up and walk around as such for a several days to get the best preparation. That was the smartest way to go about this (5).

And that was just one of many things she had to take into consideration. Like how each member at the meeting would greet Zelmama and Impa by pinching their nipples and shaking them while saying 'how do you do?'. A handshake, but for nipples. Naturally the only resonable counter grating is to fondel the other's balls and jerking their schlong a couple of times while saying 'how do you do?' But you are not allowed to start such greetings until after the opening ritual, where the seven Goorns with the largest balls get to gathere around Zelmama and splatter their moldorm milk on the kneeling princess' emaculate face. Proper ettiquete needs to be observed, of course.

By the seventh hour, hoever, decorum had become much looser. The sex was mostly just because there were erect penises and they needed a loving, caring, tight and sopping wet home. The various phallic objects found around the ejaculate stained room were no longer for ritualistic use, but for rather ad hoc cock. There were dildo's varying from merely playfully misscheefuss to down-right vile dragons. Some vibrated or rotated. Others both. A true faux-cocknucopia was strewn around the room. Never mind the clamps, masagers, burnt stumps of wax candles, rope or paddles.

There were also several male chastity devices found lying about. Hyrule is an enlightened absolute monarcy, of course. Punishment could never be the main aim of its justice system, rehabilityation was the name of the game in these parts. So even adversaries who found themselves penisalised for their prior actions were eventually welcomed back into the fold. By literally putting their wangs in between Zelmama's all-forgiving snatchfolds and reciprocating the gift of freedom with a spurt of joyous dongdrizzle.

At the break of the eightht hour Zelmama struggled to swallow down the final batch of testicle tears from a Goron who had been particularly vigorous these past couple of hours. It appeared they were both quite spent, but she was determined to go the distance. When she opened her mouth again to show she had managed the Goron returned an enamoured look.

Indeed this Goron seemed far more smitten by Zelmama and (slightly) less a vehicle for unbridled lust. This was immediately clear from the very first time he approached her with his potato masher standing tall. He climbed on top of her and looked her in the eyes as he said; "Uh.. Take it all the way to the brim, you, uh... You filthy slut." He blushed as he said the ceremonial words.

"Oh, yeah. Stuff me good, big boy." Zelmama replied in the way expected of har and winked at him seductively.

The two of them moved in a rhythm not dictated by convention but by the living pulse of passion! What an unexpected pleasure for the both of them, this was. But all things must come to an end and holding up the line would not be tolerated. Soon his quickening quil dipped into her inkwell of pleasure with a revanous pace. In a moment he'd splatter poetery all over the inside of her womb. Not that he would ever consider himself a particularly skilled lyricist, but he could spout a mean Linnerick.

"There once was a Princess hungry for cock,

Who could not resist a Goron's jock,

She begged and she pleaded,

It was semen she needed,

And now there's a line beyond the block."

This was met with cheers as well as the simultanious orgasm of Goron studmuffin and Hylian lovecake.

But that had been hour two. Now their final moment of intimacy had ended. Zelmama had forgotten she was still milking a cock with her cooch as all this went on cowgirl style. The poor Goron beneath her had his eyes rolled back into his head, so it was really about time she got off of him and slowly raised herself so the near flaccid phallus could flop out of her floop.

Zelmama looked around and found no one particularly eager to mount her at this time.

"Chief?" She asked somewhat hopeful as she turned to the Goron in charge. But even the greatest Goron shook his head.

"Very well then." Zelmama continued. "Meeting adjuorned."

The Chief nodded and the first Goron's started shuffling out the door. Two Gorons approached her. Were they coming for a final french kiss? Would they grope her boobs one last time for the road? She bit her lip in anticipation, however the Gorons had other plans and bent over. They grabbed the arms of the Goron Zelmama had ridden into what might be a coma and dragged him away. Meeting adjourned, indeed...

Before long the room had emptied and only Zalmame and Impa were left. Impa had started collecting soiled sex toys.

"Do you think Daddydorf would be home by now, Impa?" Zelmama asked.

The attendent looked up at the clock and determined it was likely, "I believe so, mistress."

Zelmama found the nearest camera, sat down and spread her legs. "Hey, Dorfels. Want some of this?" She said as her cum caked holes excreted gently. She continued to show off how productive sha hd been for a while, convinced Daddydorf was observing from their bedroom.

"What is taking you so long?" She wondered out loud after a minute.

"He may be wiping down the computer, before coming down, mistress." Impa offered an explanation.

Zeldama chortled at the idea, "You might be rightr abot that... But I don't like waiting." She said, "Perhaps you should come over here and work on cleaning me first, Impa."

"As you wish." She said and looked to put away the colelcted toys.

"On, no. Feel free to bring those over, dear." Zelmom said.

Indeed, the screen in their bedroom had gotten a little greasy, and that was something Daddydorf prefered to rectify before acting on any baser instincts. As he made his way downstairs hoe ever he could not help but notice a trail of ghostly white dragged across the carpet leading towards teh front door.

"Did those fuckers just drag cum all over my carpet!?" He angrily said to himself. "They got their Goron jezz all over my damn house!"

His wife had weird duties, that was something he had come to accept. But no one gets semen on Daddydorf's carpet, except Daddydorf!

"Screw this." He finally decided and got into his car instead.

Menwhile Impa was eagary lapping at Zelmomy's peeflaps.

"Gibe me tat dildo, Impa." Zelmama said as she pointer at oen of the toys.

Ipma handed her the palstic dongues and then Zelmama immediately stared to seck on it. After sufficenty lubricating it she handled itb ack to Impa.

"Ride it." She sterrly suggesterd.

Impa ddi it withuot delay, thoug hshe noted this was by all accunts the samllest of the dildos and wimpered a little sa she began grinding no it.

"What isit?" Zelmom askded.

"I cant' get off frim just this tinny thing." She repled.

"Who sad anytingh about gettig off? I just wan tyou movitatrd." Zolmenny said and pulld Imp'ass face closet to her sexcaev. "Get with on nit." (3)

It was around this time that we return to the present, with Daddydorf sitting comfortably on the couch.

"Sounds like a rough day at the office." Nabooru teased.

"You certainly got it a lot easier, little sis. No kids, no spouse..." Daddy noted.

"Maybe, maybe. Would you like a nice hot cup of Fuglers?"

"Yeah, sounds like the kind of thing I could really use right now. A nice black cuppa Joe." Dorfels felt.

"I'll get right on that then, big bro."

Nabooru got up and made her way over to the kitchen, leaving Daddyforf to his thoughts for a moment. Then the Dorf stood up and followed his sister into the kitchen.

"You know..." He said, "This reminds me of that time I came back from West Hylica for the holidays."

"Yeah?" Nabooru said, "Well, you can still be my present any day, Daddy."

"Maybe... Maybe I should go get my fannypack?"

"I expect to see you back here wearing nothing else..."

The two of them exchange erotic looks and outside the window a Rito named Medli happens to be watching...

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~Le FIN~

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(1) Editor's Note: PSA: Please always parent with your pants on. /Mitzi

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(2) Editor's Note: Do we need to dig into the socio-political structure of this world, or can you write some smut already? /Mitzi

Author's Note: It is called fourplay, dear Mittens.

Editor's Note: Foreplay? I don't think that word means what you think it means. A common mistake. /Mitzi

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(3) Editor's Note: Speaking of teasing; can you stop misspelling everything when things finally get good? Thanks! /Mitzi

Arthur's nOte: Tis hard to rwite weel when yuo go crossysed.

Editor's Note: Stop horning over Impa's skanky ass, damnit! /Mitzi

Auhtors' nut: imProsiblul;

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(4) Editor's Note: Go oooooonnnnnn... /Mitzi

Authro's Note: Nah.

Editor's Note: Hnngngnahafndfkjdk /Mitzi

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(5) Author's Note: Not actually smart at all. Fantasy orifices exclusive.

Editor's Note: No shit. /Mitzi

Author's Note: I don't want to fuuck a lady and find pebbles in there. *shivers*

Editor's Note: … How noble... /Mitzi


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